introvert.net » aikido http://introvert.net/blog t e whalen Sat, 20 Jun 2009 14:34:02 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 third time is the charm, maybe http://introvert.net/blog/2004/03/31/third-time-is-the-charm-maybe/ http://introvert.net/blog/2004/03/31/third-time-is-the-charm-maybe/#comments Wed, 31 Mar 2004 20:52:00 +0000 tew http://introvert.net/blog/2004/03/31/third-time-is-the-charm-maybe/ aikido course last May, and took about 8 classes before I broke my clavicle in a bicycle accident. Then, after getting clearance from my orthopedist, I went back to aikido in August and…]]> I enrolled in a beginner’s aikido course last May, and took about 8 classes before I broke my clavicle in a bicycle accident. Then, after getting clearance from my orthopedist, I went back to aikido in August and re-injured my still-fragile collarbone. X-rays, poking, prodding, and the doctor came up with a new figure: three months. In January, I went to see the doctor again, and he cleared me for action. I’ve been procrastinating since then.

I remember really enjoying aikido when I was doing it last year, but mostly now I have a familiar feeling of dread when I consider trying it one more time. I think it’s equal parts worry about hurting myself again and fear of coming in as a novice for the third time. When I first started, the feeling of beginning, of honestly admitting that I had no idea and accepting instruction — these appealed to me. Now I’m no longer a true beginner, but I’ve got to start all over anyway.

I’m still not sure I’m actually going to start again in April. At this point, it feels like something I ought to do, rather than something I want to do. Am I trying to talk myself into it or out of it?

]]> http://introvert.net/blog/2004/03/31/third-time-is-the-charm-maybe/feed/ 0