introvert.net » television

infantry and fleet don’t mix

tew — Fri, 21 Jan 2005 02:48:40 +0000

The ladyfriend is in the other room watching Alias, and I’m hearing the melodic strains of “Fade into You” by Mazzy Star wafting out of the spy thriller. Let’s say you’re a music coordinator for a major network drama, and you need something “romantic” and “bittersweet” to play while your main characters look at each other and silently smolder while also defusing a bomb or something. Let’s also say that it’s the year 2005, and that Mazzy Star song is now 11 years old. You, music coordinator, need to think of a different song. I know, it’s your go-to song, your playmaker, but you are a hack if you can’t come up with something else. Yeah, you heard me. If your first thought was either “Portishead” or “Postal Service” you should seriously start thinking about retirement.

Besides, everyone knows that use of “Fade into You” is tacky and sad, ever since Paul Verhoeven staged a SPACE FIST-FIGHT to it in 1997′s Starship Troopers. You can’t top that, Alias music coordinator, with your pouty-yet-horsey faced heroine and her perfectly coiffed man-boy teenbeat Baldwinesque co-star. Just give it up.

followup on johnny rico

tew — Wed, 08 Dec 2004 22:35:41 +0000

In case you’re wondering what happened to Casper Van Dien after he made Starship Troopers, apparently he got himself into a unique domestic situation — married to a crown princess of Serbia and Montenegro (and former cast member of Dynasty) and raising five kids from three different relationships.

Naturally, he’s going to be starring in a new reality series:

Dec. 07, 2004

Lifetime vows regal look at ‘Princess’ life

Lifetime Television is getting hitched to royalty with “I Married a Princess.” The cable network has ordered 13 half-hour episodes of the reality show produced by New Wave Entertainment. “Princess” is set to debut in the second quarter. “Princess” features married couple Catherine Oxenberg (“Dynasty”), whose mother is HRH Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia (now Serbia and Montenegro), and Casper Van Dien (“Starship Troopers”) and their “blended family” of five children — from three different relationships — as they deal with the obstacles of family life. The series also will follow them to Hollywood premieres, film and TV production sets and royal events.

– from the Hollywoood Reporter

aiigh! what’s wrong with me?

tew — Wed, 21 Apr 2004 01:50:00 +0000

I just caught myself screaming at the television. I was watching ST:TNG, and someone ripped some of the “flesh” off Data’s face, revealing his insides, which look like a (relatively friendly, compared to say, a Terminator) squishy circuit board with lots of blinking lights. Here’s what I screamed: “Why are there blinking lights under his skin?! No one can see those lights!” How can I have been watching Star Trek for all these years and never noticed this? I knew I had to post to my web log immediately.