introvert.net   isolative

7/11/02

Hey.

Hope you had an okay weekend-of-patriotism. I can't say that I waved a flag or anything, but I really liked how everyone everywhere seemed to have a limitless supply of fireworks. I think I felt better about living in a city like Chicago than I did about living in America. Alternating clouds of sulfurous and charcoal smoke made me really happy. It's a field-day for a bicycle-voyeur like me - seeing people on the street or in yards, doing things.

I've been thinking lately of when/how I might be able to find some time to sneak out of the city this summer. I really hoped to spend a weekend in Iowa City at some point, but I don't know if I'll be able to do it. I visited there a couple of times, and it seemed like a paradise on earth. Gentle hills, stars at night, and cheap and plentiful beer and pork. I'm starting to forget what the air tastes like outside of Cook county. I'm afraid that if I manage to leave town, I'll end up in Dayton, helping my parents clean out the basement. Nothing prosaic or peaceful in that.

I have been really distracted the past couple of weeks due to my impending job. I sometimes work future events into a semi-obession, where every idle thought drifts in that direction. Lately, I find myself thinking thoughts that start with, "When I start my new job..." and end with things like "...I'll have to get a bookshelf for my office," or "...I'll start drinking coffee in the mornings." My whole life seems to come to a halt when I start waiting for something, and nothing seems to happen until it arrives. It's especially bad when I'm waiting for a package. I'll waste entire days just listening for the UPS truck. It's nice to have something to look forward to, but I wish it didn't destroy the rest of my life.

take care,

tew


See Also: unlapsing.