The ladyfriend is in the other room watching Alias, and I’m hearing the melodic strains of “Fade into You” by Mazzy Star wafting out of the spy thriller. Let’s say you’re a music coordinator for a major network drama, and you need something “romantic” and “bittersweet” to play while your main characters look at each other and silently smolder while also defusing a bomb or something. Let’s also say that it’s the year 2005, and that Mazzy Star song is now 11 years old. You, music coordinator, need to think of a different song. I know, it’s your go-to song, your playmaker, but you are a hack if you can’t come up with something else. Yeah, you heard me. If your first thought was either “Portishead” or “Postal Service” you should seriously start thinking about retirement.

Besides, everyone knows that use of “Fade into You” is tacky and sad, ever since Paul Verhoeven staged a SPACE FIST-FIGHT to it in 1997’s Starship Troopers. You can’t top that, Alias music coordinator, with your pouty-yet-horsey faced heroine and her perfectly coiffed man-boy teenbeat Baldwinesque co-star. Just give it up.

One Response to “infantry and fleet don’t mix”

1. Colonel Jenkins says:

   1/21/2005 at 7:13 am

   You disapprove? Well, too bad! We’re in this for the species, boys and girls.