Tonight, thrill to the excitement of:

• An amazing size, style, and suckiness curtain-jerking mismatch: Rey Mysterio vs. Chuck Palumbo
• The one good match on the show, in the two-spot: Tajiri vs. Kidman
• An amazing size, style, and suckiness mismatch: Shannon Moore vs. A-Train
• The first crummy handicap match of the night: Chris Benoit & John Cena vs. Rhyno & Matt Morgan & Brock Lesnar & Big Show (Suggested chant: “WHO’S MATT MORGAN?”)
• The second crummy handicap match of the night: Bradshaw vs. Akio & Sakoda
• Your “one of these things is not like the others” main event: Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Chavo Guerrero Sr. vs. Eddie Guerrero & Kurt Angle

Tune in or do something productive with your life!

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