Category: wrestling

I think we all knew this was coming

Jacqueline can't believe it either! Well, Steev has been predicting this for years, but it finally happened. Tucked into a little update on the Wrestling Observer is this tidbit:

Sable is out of action due to leaking implants.

How about that? Who would have thought it would happen to Sable, though? She’s not the most active wrestler these days, for which I am thankful. Let’s all just ponder for a moment what would happen to her “career” if, instead of having her leaky implants replaced, she had them removed.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Wasn’t that fun?

now what could possibly motivate this?

The Torch says, by way of 411:

Triple H has made it known that he does not want to continue to work with Chris Benoit following WrestleMania XX. The Game is now pushing for Edge to return as a member of the RAW brand so that the two of them can have a program together.

How about that? Is Trips really that short of faces to feud with? That short of more talented and exciting careers to ruin? The answer, of course, is yes. I can’t believe anyone would even consider doing this. No wait, I can believe it. I can totally believe it.

pay no attention

411 relates:

The plan now for the WrestleMania XX World Title match is to have a three way involving Triple H, Chris Benoit, and Shawn Michaels. It was originally thought that Triple H and Benoit would go one on one for the title.

The only way this is a good idea is if it’s an elimination-style match. “Triple threat” is highly correlated with “lower buyrate” in my mind. It’s also very closely related to “one of these people is obviously jobbing”.

smackdown tonight amazes

Tonight, thrill to the excitement of:

  • An amazing size, style, and suckiness curtain-jerking mismatch: Rey Mysterio vs. Chuck Palumbo
  • The one good match on the show, in the two-spot: Tajiri vs. Kidman
  • An amazing size, style, and suckiness mismatch: Shannon Moore vs. A-Train
  • The first crummy handicap match of the night: Chris Benoit & John Cena vs. Rhyno & Matt Morgan & Brock Lesnar & Big Show (Suggested chant: “WHO’S MATT MORGAN?”)
  • The second crummy handicap match of the night: Bradshaw vs. Akio & Sakoda
  • Your “one of these things is not like the others” main event: Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Chavo Guerrero Sr. vs. Eddie Guerrero & Kurt Angle

Tune in or do something productive with your life!

Please stop confusing our marks

From 411:

WWE management has told Goldberg to stop using the Jackhammer as his finisher and just stick with the Spear. WWE’s thinking is that the Spear is over and that the Jackhammer is not needed.

“Hey Bill, we’re thinking that more than six offensive moves is too many for our fans to handle. If you could be a lamb and cut down to say, the irish whip, a punch, a kick, a clothesline, and your ‘spear’, that would be great. I guess you could use a headlock too, if you get tired. Okay? Great.”

This is a shining example of how the WWE writers/bookers/management are consistently condescending to both their fans and their wrestlers. Up until the late 1990’s, Vince McMahon never lost any money by following P.T. Barnum’s maxim, “Never underestimate the stupidity of the American people.” Now, I think, the WWE is overestimating our stupidity.

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