Dear friends, the following thing made me laugh out loud. It is possibly the best this anyone has done in the past month. Are you ready? Here it is: the qwantz.com daily dinosaur comic for March 24th, 2004

So I voted today, and what should appear on my ballot but this, this amazing sight! I felt certain that it wasn’t my personal hero (Speech ’56), but rather some other, lesser Jerry Orbach. Turns out I was right. This J. Orbach is some former Cook County judge and former Chicago alderman. Well, shameless electioneering stunts like having the same name as a well-respected character actor won’t get you anywhere with me. I voted for the other guy.

In other Northwestern Alum news, I did not vote for Jack Ryan, even though I have compelling evidence that he, at one time, was sleeping with Jeri Ryan (Speech ’90). Firstly, I took the Democratic ballot, and secondly, even though I consider it a major accomplishment to have bedded Jeri Ryan, it’s not listed anywhere on his official bio page. I have to believe that he’s, for some reason, not running on a platform of sleeping with Hollywood starlets and former beauty pageant winners. I just can’t get behind someone like that. It makes me question his motives for running for Senate in the first place. I guess I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that there’s an ongoing controversy about the divorce records, and there are even darker rumors (rumors, mind you!) that may remind certain people of Eric Bischoff and his marriage.

In other Jeri Ryan news, Philthee (Speech ’99) claimed the other day that she went to Northwestern at the same time we did. Well, that’s just not the case, Phil. Faced!